You were right. It hurts to walk today.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
