it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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