i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
