Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize