Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
These tits shall not be calmed
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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