May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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