i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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