I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize