When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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