I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
