i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
