my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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