No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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