try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
