I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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