just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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