Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
