Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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