This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
