He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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