There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
