To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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