I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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