Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
