That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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