i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
