you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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