Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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