Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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