i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
