Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
