K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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