Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
