If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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