apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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