watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
