my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
