and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
