you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize