I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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