Where are you?
In a non slutty way
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
