Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize