I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
