it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize