i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
