I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
