So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
