There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
