Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude i'm inner monologue high
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
