Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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