I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
