I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
