That's when you crack a 10am beer
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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