shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
