He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
