..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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