It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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