My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Watching her eat just hurts me
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
