We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I wish there were birth control emojis
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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