Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
