so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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