I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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