life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
this is an emotional support booty call
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
