Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
