Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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