3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
