Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
