ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
