You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
