if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
All I want is dick and wine.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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