I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
