My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
