I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
