my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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