Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
